Joshua Jenkins

Mentally, I’m at my best when I run. Running is a struggle both mentally and physically, it’s hard for me to take it slowly, but I tend to push myself through it. I hate it on a second-by-second basis unless I can shut my brain off or think about something other than damaging my joints with every step.

When I actually do manage to mentally check out of the awareness of what I’m doing and truly drift off somewhere else the mind-numbingness of the daily grind leaves me alone for a few beautiful minutes. I daydream about the crazy running regiment I’ll (never actually) keep up in the future and how healthy I’ll eat from now on. I think about all the things I can do to make my life better, I’m aware of the good pieces that make me up, and tend to ignore the bad parts. I feel bigger and better than I am. Or maybe I’m just fulfilling more of my potential in those moments. At the end I feel like I’ve actually accomplished something and I can measure it in sweat and stiffness. I probably won’t adhere to a strict exercise plan and eat nothing but spinach in the future like I just dreamt of, but at least I filled forty-five minutes with something truly positive.

My life needs more slow burn activities like this, little changes with long-term positive results. Moments of mental clarity, perspective, and sharpness. So, barring injuries (fractured my foot and severely screwed up my knee last year) I think I’ll keep it up. Taking the last eight months off has been unnerving.